True, True...

ME!

This me is the me that I can be.
The only be I can be is the me I am.
But you make it so hard to be the me
I need to be.
Why can't I just be me and you be happy?
Why is being me so hard because I care so much?
Being me is all I know to be.

All I can say is... WTH?

First you need to visit this site to understand my ramblings this time...

I do not understand this at all. First I think the media needs to change the focus of this story. Instead of focusing on this overweight women who is doing this to herself just for money you need to be focusing on the fact that her child is probably being neglected. And by probably I mean in my eyes the kid totally is, but I am not there, so I could be wrong.

If she is needing a 4 year old to feed her (why the heck can't she lift her arms and feed herself?), prepare her foods, bath herself, etc then more than likely the little girl does these things for herself as well as her mother... And a 4 year old preparing foods, etc is not okay in my eyes. A 4 year old needs to have a childhood and caring for her mother is taking that a way from her. Why has no one stepped in and taken this little girl away?

Creating Me!

A lot of people talk about not finding themselves. I am one of those people. I have said it countless times. “I haven’t found myself yet”. But I recently discovered that most people don’t always find themselves for one reason or another. Instead you need to create yourself… And to do so you just need to go after what you love.

Finding yourself means you are just letting things happen… if they happen they happen, but if they don’t you will always been lost. Creating yourself means you are deciding who you want to be, where you want to go, what you want to do… and then you do it! There is nothing to find… there is only living, loving, learning, and doing.

After many years of not knowing what to do with my life I have finally decide it is time to create me… the me I want to be! And if I try something I don’t like then oh well I learned something from it. Heck with trying tp find the one thing I am mean to do… I am going to do it all. So, starting today I am creating a new me!

Worrying vs. living

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

I have a hard time letting things go. If something hits my mind it is there... I can't stop worrying, I can't stop fearing, I can't stop obsessing over it. I hate this about me… Life is short.,. shorter than short. Tomorrow is never a given. Tomorrow may only exist in your dreams… dream you may not wake up from. Yet, I spend so much of my time worrying, fearing, dreading, and panicking.

I really need to learn how to just stop this and live for the moment. It is a goal of mine and I have to reach it to reach full happiness b/c if I don’t stop worrying I am going to kill myself (meaning I worry so much the stress is causing my heart to act up problems).

But how do I stop something I have done my whole life?

Love

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."

I find this to be very true with a lot of people. They are so many people out there that want this ideal life. You know the one… A perfect husband, 2 kids, a cute cottage house with the white picket fence and a dog.

Realistically things take time, work, etc. You have the find the "one" that can work with you to have that idea love. The only problem is, people want instant gratification... They want to start dating someone and that person be the one even if they are not. You will rush into a marriage even though the relationship is rocking just to get to an idea life that will never be real because marriage is hard and if things are perfect and if the love isn't real then you will only be punishing yourself for doing so. The marriage will more than likely fail causing you to go through the pain of a divorce, the years spent with Mr./Mrs. wrong could have been years spent finding and/or being with Mr/Mrs Right.

"Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet."

I wanted to add that quote because I feel that if you are not in your idea relationship then you should make a fantasy one. Have something great in your fantasy land would be so much more fun and better than having something bad in your realistic land. Just remember when looking for your soul mate that fantasies are just that… Fantasy! Do not make your expectations so high or lame that no one can meet then and leave you alone and unhappy.

Happy 4th of July!

Today marks the day of America's independence... The day we as Americans, declared our independence, from the Kingdom of Great Britain. We celebrate with cookouts, vacations, family get togethers, camping, just relaxing, and of course fireworks!

I hope each of you had a wonderful and safe 4th of July today!

I still suck

Okay so I have a ton of majorly awesome blog post idea but with having 4 kids it is next to impossible to blog lately! And yes if you know me and just read that you probably thought "4 kids, what?". But for the last 2+ months (9 weeks now) I have had 4 kids. We gained 2 children ages 4 and 8 months... although he will be 11 months old tomorrow! So having 4 kids 5 and under will keep you busy. And I was already busy! I do plan on starting crafty post again as I have been doing a lot of projects with the kids lately. Stay tuned because they will be up shortly!

Blog is fixed!!!

Woohoo, I have had some great blog post topic ideas but for the past month or so my blog has not worked for WEEKS now! I have tried and tried to blog but couldn't... it was so very annoying. But I am back... and very happy to be back. Let my blogging start back up!

A Randomly Rambling Post

So yes, I do randomly talk to myself... A lot actually! My friends, who have known me for years, still laugh at me because I talk to myself... and they catch me! So, since a lot of things are on my mind tonight I thought I was just make a blog post... After all I haven't made one in forever and a day.

# 1: I am still upset that 'Iron Man' by Black Sabbath was not in the movie Iron Man!!! Seriously this upsets me!

# 2: Taking the easy way out of things only makes your life boring... Yes it may be easier but life is massively boring this way and you do not learn your true strengh.

# 3: I love lighting. It is so pretty... And no matter how hard I try I just cannot get a photograph of lighting :(

# 4: Being an adult is so much more than just an age! I know people 25, 35, 45, even 55 who I would not consider an adult... Grow up people! Take responsibility for your actions... Do the right thing... Change the world for the better.

#5: I am super girl and I am here to save the world... dum, dum, dum.... Not sure why that just popped in my head but it did... so I typed it out :)

# 6: Hmmmmmm.. What is going on with my blogger? I go to publish the post and it just doesn't publish. Dang it!

Day 10

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.


Okay, yes, this could possibily be the lamest paint picture ever! But I didn't have any pictures of me & my one of my bestest friends Lisa... And we do a lot of messed up things together!!!! So, I made one... quickly!!!!

Day 08

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.


A photo of Willow... That always makes me laugh! She did not want to sit there for her pictures to be taken... And was clearly expressing that!

Day 07

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.


This little piece of paper is one of my most treasured items! Because it was wrote by my 5-year old Autistic child... Who wasn't supposed to be even talking at this point, yet is one of the top readers in all of the kinder classes at her school... As well as a non-stop talker! When she handed me this piece of paper she said "moma which sentence do you like better?". I of course said "the I love you sentence" and then asked what the top one said & she said "its nonsense, I just wanted to say I love you!".

Day 06

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.


I would love to be the little me again... I want to relive my childhood... I didn't have one! I wish I had. I missed out on so very much.

Day 05

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.


My daughter's' first trip to the beach... Lots of memories made, but seeing their faces when they saw the ocean for the first time, and make a sand castle that they stomped through... priceless!

Day 04

Day 04 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn’t have....


I wish I didn't eat out of habit... boredom... stress... etc!

Day 03

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

I just love this show... and the books too!

Day 02

A picture of you and a person you have been close with for awhile.
This is a cheesy picture of me & my uncle Wayne. He is 53 years old & has Down Syndrom, which is pretty darn amazing!!! He is like my little brother and I have watched over him since I was 16.

Day 01

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.


1. I have no willpower to succeed at the things I want most because of inter demons
2. My ears are gauged to an 8g now, but I am thinking of going to a 6 or 4
3. I am 5'3"
4. I have two daughters, Clover & Willow.
5. My bucket list is more of a to do before I am 35 list
6. I love my VW beetle, who's name is BetyBug!
7. At this very moment, I am cold.
8. I love my grandma, cousin Chelsey, brother & nephews!
9. I just got a new puppy, who my girls named Scarley Sparkles
10.I stay online to much... Darn phones with the internet!!!
11.I love to text!!! Wanna chat? Text me! :)
12.I love tacos
13.I used to love to dance in the rain... but not so much now!
14.I need more hours in the day to do the things I NEED and WANT to do
15.Just listed some really lame facts about myself!

30 day challenge

So, I haven't been blogging that often anymore... Why? Because my life has became a crazy stir of insanity! My oldest daughter Clover just spent the last 6 weeks very sick.. And trust me, you don't want me to go into that, because its a lot! So, anyways, since I do well with blogging under the pressures of challenges I have decided to do another 30 day Challenge! Below are the details.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn’t have....
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of someone that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of something that you are scared of.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.