Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What is love?

I decided I was going to ask Clover (age 4) what love was today since she quickly said "I love you so much" right after she did something she shouldn't have and knew she was about to get into trouble. Her answer "Its made of hearts! Did you make my heart mommy since you made me?" I told her I did grow her and her heart, then she said "You grew my love". Yea, she didn't get into trouble... These girls have me wrapped around their little fingers.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

random vent... sorry!

Why is it so hard for me to make daily blog post? I guess because I would actually have to sit down and gather my thoughts and focus on them long enough to composs the post... And that is really hard for me to do!

But I need to vent, so here I am... gathering my thoughts and compossing them into this blog post... Sorry for the venting, I know it is not interesting, but I need to do it!

So, in my first post I spoke about my daughters and made it a point to say my oldest is a real miracle baby... Actually both of my girls are since I was told I would probably never have children after losing a little boy, and giving birth to another stillborn little boy... So, before I vent let me go into detail about why I say my oldest is my miracle child...

I became pregnant with Clover shortly after having a stillborn little boy, Cullen. My pregnancy with her was long and very complex. I went into early labor twice, was on bedrest from the start of my pregnancy... And lots of other issue! The delivery was just as bad... My spinal did not take, and they didn't double check to see if it had before they started my c-section, since they were in such a hurry... I felt them cut me open and turned to my nurse and told her I was in the most horrible pain and asked if I was dying. She realized what was going on and after saying something, which I didn't hear, to my anesthesiologist, they gave a 'worried' look and then my anesthesiologist told me she was helping me... Which meant she was giving me a strong doe of narcotics, and other meds to help with my over racing heart (I was born with a heart defects). When Clover was finally born, she wasn't breathing. Which was horrible... All of the fears that went through my head... panic... and the worse part was I was so 'drugged' I couldn't even ask anyone if she was okay... if he was alive! But after they ran out of the room to work with her, they got her breathing... and thirty mins or so later I got to see (but not hold) my sweet baby girl... About an hour after she was born I finally got to hold her! But her struggles were not over yet... After her second birthday Clover was diagnosed with Autism with seizures (she showed signs of Autism from the day she was born and has had seizure since then too)! She couldn't talk, walk or eat well, or do anything really besides puzzles. She only wanted to watch static on tv, play with puzzle or line thing up. Over the past three years she has came very far and proven a lot of her doctors wrong! And her Autism is the reason for my vent now...

So, now we finally get to my vent... Can you believe I actually made it this far... I haven't even gotten side-tracked once!

She has always had issues with harming herself... pulling out her hair, hitting her head against the wall, pinching herself, etc... It eased up a year and a half ago or so, and it hasn't been a problem... but a little while ago I spotted a bruise on her forearm and it was a perfect bite mark... To start with I thought Willow did it... And was very upset because she has been out of the 'biting stage' for a while now and for her to bite her sister was a big no/no! I started talking to Willow about biting Clover and Clover spoke up "I bit me! I did it". So, I looked closer and there were 2 marks, and sure enough they were done by her!!! she is harming herself again and I don't know when she would be doing it. I watch her so closely now! So, I sit here upset and just had a cry because my child wants to hurt herself... and I say want too because when I sat her down to talk to her about it and I asked her why she was biting herself she said "I want too. I like doing it!".

This highly worries me because what if this behavior continues and gets worse over time? Hopefully it is just another 'stage' and will stop soon again!

Friday, June 25, 2010

My Crazy Morning!

Lord help me make it through the day with my make-up stealing, butter eating, bear unstuffing, costume wearing daughters! Yea, that pretty much sums up my MORNING so far... Yes, all of that before noon.

So, its Friday... YAY! I am always excited about Fridays because it means that my husband will be home for two whole days to help me get things done. This weekends to do list is extra long so I am trying to take care of a lot of my normal weeken chores today.

Doing chores with the girls at home is pretty much pointless because no matter how much I clean they are behind me making a mess somewhere else. To is no different. So, what did I mean by make-up stealing, butter eating, bear unstuffing, costume wearing daughters??? Let me go into a little more detail...

While I stripped the beds so I could wash all of our bedding the girls decided to go into my bathroom and take my make-up, sneak back into one of their rooms and make each other pretty... Seeing the freshing make-uped faces done by a 2 & 4 year old... Priceless... Sadly, I didn't get a picture though because I had to start cleaning up make-up right away (they have a light tan colored carpet in their rooms that stains easily).

While I cleaned up the make-up, they decided to go into the kitchen, open the fridge and get out a big tub of butter... They got to spoons and started eating the butter! And of course they had just ate a big breakfast an hour and a half before this!!!

After getting all of that taken care of I sent them off to Willow's room to play while I finished cleaning my bedroom (which with all of the toys, crayons, etc in the floor looked like a child's room!). I could hear them dancing, talking, etc... I was tickled they were playing together since that is such a rare thing in this house. Willow loves Clover but Clover wants to be an only child, so when they actually play and have fun together I am over the moon happy! Then all of a sudden they got super quite... "Oh no", I thought! When they are both quite I am in big trouble. I go to check on them and they are unstuffing a majorly large teddy bear (I did get a photo of this and will post it below). As I caught them they both said together "Look mommy its snowing!" Just maybe they were wishing it would snow since it has been 98-104 degress here all week and we haven't had the chance to go outside and play like normal. But it still makes for a big mess for me to clean up and it will put me way behind on my to do list... Oh yea, I am complaining about being behind as a type this blog! I had to have a break after all of that, right, and I am not even finished... I still have the costume wearing part to talk about...

Lastly, you are probably thinking... costume wearing? Whats the issue with that? Yea, it is totally normal for my 2 & 4 year old daughters to play dress-up and wear costumes... However, Willow decided to be a ladybug and decided since she was dressed as a ladybug she could fly! Yes, my two year old now thinks she has the ability to fly! So, she was going around climbing up and jumping off everything... I had repeatedly told her to stop because she could not fly and would get hurt... Did she listen? No. Did timeout help her listen? No. Did she end up getting hurt? Yes! Not bad, but she did bump her chin over her knee as she jumped off my bed and hit the floor. The pain only lasted a mintue and two mintues later she was climbing and jumping again!

Yikes, these girls are going to be the end of me! And again it is not even noon... What else will today hold for me? Maybe a pie in the face? :)

Here are a few pictures from the morning:

Later gators,
Lissa Lou

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Hello Blog World

Well hello there blog world... I am Lissa Lou and this is my blog! What is my blog going to be about? A little bit of this and a little bit of that! I am a very random person in general... I don't mean to be, but it is who I am! I have always had ADD, however for me it normal has been a blessing. I have always been great at multi-tasking... Yet, if I really need to focus on something, forget it! I cannot even focus long enough to write a short email... or this blog! In fact I started it twenty mintues ago and this is as far as I have gotten... In between sitting down to type, I have got up to vacuum, fussed at my girls, and went through a small stack of paperwork. So, yea focus is not a strong point for me!

Who else am I? As you know from above, I am a mom! It is the most important thing in my life... I have two girls. Clover who is 4 (and a miracle baby, which I will post more about later), and Willow who is 2. I live for my kids and everything I do (as lame as it sounds) is really for them... I plan everything around them! Hmmm... Are they spoiled? yes! haha

I work full-time (I work 46 hours a week right now), yet I am a full time stay at home mom too (I get to work at home so many hours a week, and my girls get to go to work with me)... Yea, my days are super busy... and by busy, I really mean CRAZY!

What do I love? Besides my family... I love photography, gardens, daisies, The Chicago Bears, VW beetles, dogs, horses, scrapbooking, crafts, cooking, camping, hiking, and so much more! I think tattoos are sexy (yet, I have none...YET), I love to dance in the rain, I love the color green, and I love my friends (yea, my friends are totally awesome!).

What do I hate? PHONES! I don't use them... Can't stand them and wish they would disappear (if it wasn't for 9-1-1 anyways) and everyone had to text or email.

I am starting a new diet Monday... Which is greatly needed! So, I am sure I will be posting about my diet struggles, stats, and all of that boring stuff too.

Oh and I do randomly talk (out loud) to myself... In fact just yesterday I was driving down the road and fussing about getting behind a garbage truck passing it, and then getting behind a moped and 2 people on bicycles... And since I live in a small country town with very narrow curvey roads passing things like this is not easy. Oh I am off topic... Back to the point. I was fussing about all of that and Colver my 4 year old ask me "Mom, who are you talking too?". But no, I am not crazy! Even though I am sure my husband would disagree! :) I am just in need of a little adult convo and normally the only adult around is myself :)

Well, I have way to much to get done for now, so I will post more soon.